


I can see a glimmer

by HostileGlitch



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Ace essek thelyss, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Essek is very touch starved, Fluff, M/M, POV Essek Thelyss, Pining, Soulmate au - Soul magic, Soulmates, its not explicitly mentioned I just want you to know where I stand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:48:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27462958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HostileGlitch/pseuds/HostileGlitch
Summary: In a world where soulmates share magic, generated when they touch, Essek realizes how much brushing hands with Caleb Widowgast could mean.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, Nott | Veth Brenatto & Caleb Widogast, Nott | Veth Brenatto & Essek Thelyss
Comments: 10
Kudos: 202





	I can see a glimmer

**Author's Note:**

> This soulmate AU has been keeping me sane through this past week, so I figured I'd share. If you want to chat, find me on tumblr at HostileGlitch!
> 
> Title from Glimmer by Marianas Trench, which is SUCH a shadowgast song.

_ This equation simplifies to this... meaning that when I factor— _ Essek was alive, filled with the thrill of study and of magic. They were doing something new, something powerful. Magic that would put them ever closer to the mages of the long past. Not to mention, it would change lives here and now. 

Caleb was leaned over the same piece of parchment, their shoulders occasionally brushing together. The spell for Nott— Veth— was so close to completion. Essek paused for a moment, eyes moving from his dense and loopy cursive to Caleb’s surprisingly neat print, equations notated with complex transmutation methods and proofs that Essek had to admit, he could barely follow.

Magic was in the air. 

When Essek reached to dip his quill back into the inkwell, his infinite quill having been left downstairs in his excitement, he nearly bumped hands with Caleb, who was doing the same thing. He froze, their hands hovering millimeters apart. 

There was magic in the air indeed. Because wizards and clerics could cast spells, speaking long dead languages or praying to a god, but there was magic in a touch too. Unpredictable magic. The kind that slipped the understanding of even the most studied. 

Some called it destiny, the more whimsical called it soulmates. Essek shied away from those, preferring to call it by its scientific name,  _ relationship affective spellcasting _ . When two people, who have an established close relationship– or are likely to develop one– first make skin to skin contact, a magical effect happens. It could range from a few shimmers of light to powerful forces of nature. 

And he and Caleb had nearly brushed hands. 

It shouldn’t be a big deal, Essek had to tell himself. They had similar academic pursuits, Caleb was interested in Dunamancy, there was nothing. Most likely, nothing would happen if their hands touched. And yet...

Caleb’s hand pulled back, slightly. “You go first.” 

The voice shook Essek out of the spiral of thought he’d fallen into. He blinked and cleared his mind, dipping his quill in the inkwell and returning to his equation. 

It was another hour before the spell was finished. That moment faded to the back of his memory as the excitement of new magic took hold of him once again. When the spell was finished, Essek taking one last look through his work to guarantee that no mistakes were made, he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders. Caleb pulled him into a one arm hug, with Nott held in his other. 

Essek was suddenly thankful that his dark skin hid the bush spreading down his ears. 

“We did it, ja?” He was smiling wide and his face was flushed with excitement. 

“Do you think it will work, Caleb?” Nott asked. 

“It should. We can do it now, if you’re ready?” 

Nott didn’t respond right away, and Caleb let go of Essek to set her back on the ground. 

Essek stepped back, attempting to put himself back into the composed persona he’d adopted over the past century. He tried not to allow himself to dwell on the fact that this was the second hug he’d received in nearly a century, and the first was Jester only a few weeks prior. He also tried not to dwell on the fact that the hug still never touched skin, still leaving him with a final question to consider. 

Caleb rolled up the spell scroll, promising Essek a copy soon, before moving downstairs. 

Nott paused in the doorway, looking back at him. “Thanks, Essek.” Then she held out her hand, in a blatant request for a handshake. 

It was like she had been reading his mind, or maybe she was just more perceptive that he’d given her credit for. 

But it was a challenge too, Essek could see it in her eyes. 

He stepped forward and shook her hand. There was a small burst of green light when he did, swirling around both of their hands for a second. And when Essek pulled his hand away, he could still feel the energy buzzing beneath his skin. 

All Nott did was wink at him before sprinting down the rest of his stairs to where the rest of the Mighty Nein were waiting. 

Essek didn’t know what to make of that. 

After the Mighty Nein left, leaving him alone in his tower that for once had felt lived in, he returned to his study. He tried to pick up the work he’d ignored all day, but he couldn’t focus. His mind kept drifting to that moment, Caleb’s hand a hair’s breadth away. If they had touched, what would have happened. Nott hadn’t had some noticeable effect beyond the light, would Caleb be the same? Would it be anything at all, or would it be the same as every politician Essek had shaken hands with over the years. Nothing. 

That question haunted him for weeks. Until he was sitting below the deck of the Balleater, having poured his soul out to these people. He had seen the way Beau, Veth and Fjord looked at him with anger. How Jester looked hurt. How Caduceus and Yasha stood at the back, seemingly judging his every word. 

He barely registered as one of Caleb’s hands rested on his knee. He met Caleb’s eyes just once while Caleb talked, his gaze drifting off.

They’d trusted him. He’d betrayed them long before he’d even met them. He’d ruined every chance he had of finding genuine friends. 

And he could hear the way Caleb talked to him. Like he was a friend, someone who could be forgiven. Essek couldn’t believe that. 

Caleb finished talking and with a gentle touch, pressed his hands to the side of Essek’s face. 

Essek opened his eyes to light. Silver and gold light swirled around them. 

The next thing Essek knew, Caleb pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

Essek’s mind went blank. All he could focus on was the feeling of Caleb’s lips against his forehead, his warm hands on Essek’s cheeks. Nothing outside even mattered. 

It was the moment Caleb leaned back, still with his hands on Essek’s face, that Essek realized what had happened. 

None of the Mighty Nein were moving. Not frozen in shock, but completely still. Gold and silver light still hung in the air, frozen. It was almost like time had… stopped. 

“Caleb...” Essek breathed out. 

“I know you believe—“ Caleb started. His blue eyes met Essek’s pleadingly. 

Essek interrupted “Caleb, look.” 

He nodded towards the Mighty Nein. Caleb turned and Essek felt the hands leaving his face. He reached up and grabbed one of Caleb’s hands, maintaining the magic a little while longer. 

“Are they... frozen?” Caleb asked. He started to stand and Essek followed him up, keeping a tight grip on Caleb’s hand. 

“I think we stopped time.” Essek said softly. 

Caleb reached out to one of the shimmers of magic still suspended in the air. “This is... incredible.” 

Essek couldn’t formulate a response. His mind was whirling around everything, his confession, his crimes, the kiss, and then… this. 

Caleb was in awe. His eyes shone and Essek realized, still gripping Caleb’s hand like it was his last lifeline, that he would sacrifice everything, repent in any way, just to hold onto this moment a little longer. 

Caleb turned back to Essek, “if we…” he pulled his hand from Essek’s grip and in an instant the world started back up again. The magic faded and the Mighty Nein came back to life. 

“Awww, your magic!” Jester sighed dreamily. 

Beau blinked. “How did you two stand up so fast?”

Essek barely noticed the rest, his eyes were locked on Caleb’s. Had they really done that? Stopped time? It was unlike anything Essek had ever seen before. 

There was nothing more he wanted to do then see it again. 


End file.
